Friday Sermon Bot
Scraped, narrated and posted to Discord every Friday at noon, for zero dollars a month.
Zero dollars a month, forever. That was the constraint I set before writing a line, and it shaped every choice in the thing.
It scrapes the weekly sermon summary, expands the abbreviations and citations so they read naturally out loud, runs the text through free neural voices, and posts the recap plus a playable MP3 into a private Discord channel. The Mac scheduler fires it every Friday at noon. No paid API, no hosting bill, no server to forget I am paying for.
The fiddly part was the text expansion. Reading honorifics aloud as individual letters makes the audio unlistenable, so the script carries a dictionary of Islamic honorifics and Quranic citation formats and rewrites them before the voice ever sees them.
It has run unattended for a couple of months. The one thing it cannot do is tell me when the site changes its markup, so the first sign of a break will be a very quiet Friday.